November 13, 2006 | Family & Life

I’ve been rather busy the past month or so. Fixing the little fixes in my manuscript, finder bigger fixes that need to be fixed, and helping JGirl move out on her own. Yep, the college grad found a job in her major, in the city (out of state) she wanted to live in and she moved into her own apartment. All in two and half months following graduation. Now I can hear a lot of parents shouting ‘Congratulations! She’s got a job, she’s on her own!’ Yeah right. I realize how difficult the job market is right now and how lucky she was to land a position she truly likes.

I made the trip with her to move and it was the first and perhaps last time, she and I will ever ride in a car for over ten hours. Not enough Starbucks, because I was afraid I’d have to make pit stops every hour, prolonging our trip. Once I dropped her off, we found an apartment the day I was leaving, that is ten minutes tops from her job. I flew home and happily thought about how proud my parents would be of her. I also wiped my brow with relief, just a little more helpful assistance from her Papi and me and she’d be flying solo. So what happens the next morning when I turn on my computer? There she is, “Hi Mommi.” What the f**ck! Her company has Yahoo Instant Message. So now, every weekday I know when she arrives at work and when she leaves. It’s the inbetween hours that are interesting. We can converse briefly about how she’s doing, but this is also a way for her to ask about problems with her hair, her car, her stomach…. JGirl is grown alright. Let me give you an incident which proves when they grow up, move out, but they never really leave. JGirls’ mantra when she experienced a problem with, her bank not getting her information correct was, “My Daddy will be here this weekend and if you haven’t fixed this, he’ll be in to see you.” Yep, Papi was on his way down that weekend, but he had no idea he was going to have to do battle with a local bank. I bet they were scared.

Okay, that wasn’t the incident, but this is. Halloween, I’m trying to pass out candy to the multitudes that show up on our doorstep, when she calls. JGirl is at the gas station and the gas door won’t open. Of course, she’s on empty. ‘Hang on Chicka’, I almost said, ‘Mommi will be right down in nine hours, eleven if I stop and get a Starbucks Venti.’ I didn’t think she’d see the humor. So we discuss what she should do. I tell her to go to Sears, she tells me Sears isn’t open. It’s six o’clock here, so it’s only seven there, but she says it’s not the same, they close early in the south. Huh? So I answer the doorbell one more time, then I google Sears, and from Illinois call the Sears automotive in her area. Hey, they are open!! Then we discuss what happens if she runs out of gas on the way to Sears. Well I tell her, as I open my front door three more times, she has AAA, so if she runs out of gas, they’ll come and they’ll be forced to open the gas door. Now she’s upset because I’m choosing to answer the door and pass out candy instead of devoting one hundred percent of my time to her problem. We go through a few more scenarios each one spelling increasing doom, ending with her needing a new car. Finally, she makes it to Sears and they pry the door open, but she must take it to the dealership to be fixed. Long story short, she does and the repair work takes a day longer than she wanted. Meanwhile as she waited for her car to be repaired, being the mature, on her own woman she is, she IM’s me and ask me or Papi to call the dealership and see what the holdup is. Outcome: her car was fixed on time. Conclusion: A parents job is never done!

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  1. Oh, you poor thing! On the other hand, isn’t it nice J-Girl has faith in her dad and in you that you can make everything okay in her world? It could be a lot worse. I remember myself out on my own in the big bad world. Yeah, it could be a LOT worse.


  2. Yeah you’re right, Molly. When she meets her future husband, I can hear her right now, “If you don’t buy me a three karat diamond, my Papi is going to have a talk with you.”


  3. Just wait till she starts getting married, coming home, making up after she’s got you hating the guy, coming home two months later, getting divorced, getting married again, coming home, this time with 2 and 2/3 children…

    Sigh. Some of them are never truly on their own and even when they finally are, you spend your life wondering how they are…


  4. Gawd, that sounds like my younger sister. How can you stand it? And why didn’t you just eat her at birth?


  5. To Hotclue: I have suggested to GMan that when JMan has finished college, we sell the house, buy a BIG RV and travel. With technology, we can pay our bills online, have cellphone and computer access anywhere and our lovely children can’t find us.

    To Julia: Why didn’t I eat her at birth? One, she was sooo cute, two, her Papi wouldn’t let me, three, I would have missed the mother-daughter relationship we’re building now and four, I wasn’t hungry at the time. Thanks for coming to my site.


  6. This is why the animal kingdom is allowed to eat their young.

    I sympathize with you. Darlin’, if you think it’s bad now, wait until you have grandchildren!


  7. Congratulations on JGirl having a job and being out on her own, she, GMan and you have done well. So they say bigger kids bigger problems…it must be true to a degree. We all had to learn how to manage our lives, and some of us MiddleAgesters are still learning. The wonder of technology has allowed us to stay connected with each other even if we live far apart. It is a great thing that JGirl still looks up to you and needs you on some level. Slowly she will learn to manage things on her own, and she will need you less. What she is learning is that family helps each other and therefore she will be there for you when the roles are reversed.


  8. Thanks, Elia. Yes I know she’ll be there for me in my old age. I just hope if I’m in a wheelchair, she doesn’t put pink lipstick and slap a blonde wig on my head. Glad you stopped by. You’ve got two wonderful kids also.


  9. Sloane, PLEASE!!! Grandchildren!! JGirl can’t stand pain. I plan on being in Italy, Lake Como to be exact. Watching the entire process via video cam. As for a wedding, she’s gonna make Bridezillas look calm.


  10. WOW!!! Ma thanks for putting me on blast! LOL! You probably think I don’t drop by your Web site…proved you wrong. Anways I will need you forever and if you die I will still bug you! I will make sure to continue to do interesting things so you can write about it…hey can I get a check for this? I mean I am the inspiration behind everything.

    Yours Truly,



  11. BUSTED!! Thanks JGirl. I love you too. Ah, your check is in the mail.
    Somehow it’s still all about you! Dang


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